MY Haiku poem

July is here yay
fifteen days until birthday
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E-Portfolio: Camp writing

Describe It - Camp Experiences

Learning Objectives:

Level 3

• Select, form, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use language features appropriately, showing a developing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts, using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show a developing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Level 4.

• Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
• Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
• Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
• Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.

Learning goals:

• To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
• A variety of sentence starters
• A variety of sentence lengths
• Edit and rework
• Effective peer checking and feedback

The bright sun shone onto the clear water as the children entered the waterhole.The screaming began the water was shallow but there was some deep spots.A giant splash drenched me as some kids jumped of the sides of the rocky walls.It was cold so the rocky wall was a welcome relief but a freezing cold breeze came.

The water jumped out of the way as some kids jumped off the rocky wall.They were as loud as a elephant the water felt as cold as ice.At the bottom of the waterhole there were sharp prickly stones.It wasn't so cold when we got out.

Student reflection in my writing one of my goals is to use paragraphs with a sentence topic and supporting detail. I did show this goal here because I wrote two paragraphs with good detail. In my writing one of my goals is listen and act on feedback from others I did show this goal here because I got a dictionary and started checking some of my spelling before publishing. My next step is to use some different ways to plan instead of brainstorm. Teacher Comment: Jack, I like the way you have used strong vocab to add detail and description to your writing.  You are beginning to use a variety of sentence lengths and types to engaged the reader.  Your next step is to develop your sentence starters and use a variety of different starts. - Mrs Hunter

Writing Sample - Persuasive Speech

I think i did well because I chose to go first and i had to read it 3 times because of the ipaid didn't have enough storage.

I like the way I Spock loud and clear so every one could hear.

my next step is to make sure my q cards are in order before I start.

Detective Writing

Date  Monday 30th 2018

Time  1 35

Location  Kaiapoi North School Tiwai creative cave

Name Detective Wilson


I entered the crime seen at 1 35 I saw yellow tape every where.I was shocked at what I saw.The class fish were missing I have to solve this mystery.


In the crime seen I saw many different ways to find the criminal like finger prints.then is found two drink bottles and that means two criminals because who would have two drink bottles. one was blue the other was red.On the the table there was a hand print made from pant on a piece of paper there was also two more hand prints made of mud on the wall next to our instergram posts.There was broken glass next to where the fish tank was and some plaice plants where there to.I wonder who did this.I found a note on the floor saying ha ha pay back for for annoying me. It must be someone who is jealous.


I'm not really sure who it could be but all I really know is that it could be to people because of the drink bottles.I have not got any evidence yet but I think It will  be a totara teacher.I will continue to try to find the thief.

Letter to Mr hipkins

Kaiapoi North school
278 williams street
Kaiapoi 7630

Wednesday 14th February 2018

Ministry of Education
Government Buildings
Wellington

Dear Mr Hipkins

I am a year 7 student at kaiapoi north school and my name is Jack.I love our new classrooms they are a great space to learn in.But there is one problem there is no air conditioners.

I like the way you let everyone share their ideas and opinions and you also love people to learn.

Opening the doors is the only way to keep the class cool.But the and flys and bugs come in and distract us from our work also when it is windy things fall off the walls.Outside we have our lunch boxes and it is very hot and it caused things to melt and go yucky.

Most of our class find it hard to concentrate with the heat and the bugs.Especially when we come in from a hot and sweaty lunch time.

People in our class could lash out at each other and get mad because of the heat.That could make everyone mad because we will have to stay in for time it is annoying for a lot of people if they didn’t do it.

A simple air conditioner would be the best thing for our amazing classrooms.It would feel so refreshing after a hot break time.

Wouldn't it be a great feeling that you have helpt over 80 students by putting in a simple air conditioner.

Thank you for reading my letter.

From Jack